I always have trouble with deciding what exactly to do present-wise when my kid has definitely made the naughty list. Granted she’s nine years old, and isn’t really doing “really bad” stuff, but still she’s been AWFUL, more days than not. My husband keeps saying that we should take back some of her Christmas presents, but it sounds really mean.
I’m usually the strict one, but it’s Christmas. It would be so sad for her, especially since she’ll most likely be good on Christmas, to not get any presents. I couldn’t do that, it would break my heart. If we did take back most her of Christmas presents because she was naughty (a lot), it would really suck for her because my husband has close to a billion presents this year.
I know, Christmas isn’t just about getting presents—but they are still kinda important to kids and my husband. I prefer to give presents on Christmas, it’s way more fun than getting them. Since my husband hasn’t gotten on board with my brilliant idea to use all our Christmas money to buy stuff to donate, I’m stuck with buying presents. I got him so many presents this year that hopefully there won’t be anything he wants next year, then we can try out my idea. 
Back on topic, sorry. What I’m wondering is:
Should kids who have made the naughty list this year still get presents?
Should they get the same as they would if they made the nice list?
Less?
None at all?
What if you’ve already wrapped them and put them under the tree?
What do you think? Personally, I’m going back and forth because it feels really mean to do, but maybe it’s the right thing to do in the long run. I just don’t know, having a kid is still really weird to me. Yes, it’s been nine years; I wonder when I’ll get the hang of things.
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it’s tough …but this is one of the reasons I dont to the Santa, Xmas gifts thing. Adults via songs, carols and warnings say that the gifts are tied to behavior but it’s generally not….there are thousands of very well behaved kids who dont receive anything for Xmas. I let Xmas not take over my family, parenting, etc. and try to focus on proper daily consequences, good and bad, to help direct and guide my daughter….maybe your answer lies in how much your “word” means. If you, as a parent team have said that her behavior means lesss then I think you should follow through with that.
I haven’t actually told her she would get less presents if she was bad. Maybe I should focus more on the daily behavior more instead of worrying about presents. There really are a ton of good kids who don’t get anything, that’s a great reminder.
She’s nine years old, for heaven’s sake! Of course you should give her the same amount of presents as always. Presents are about showing love to people and you love her as much as ever. You won’t even remember trivial misbehavior later on, but she’d likely always remember and be hurt by a skimpy Christmas.
It’s when children are misbehaving and acting out that they need parents to show them they love them more than ever. Believe me, I know–we’ve had a very tough year with my elder child, a 17 year old boy, and a 17 year old boy can get into some serious trouble. But he’s still the child of my heart, who I love more than anything on earth, and he’ll get the same number of presents as his sister.
You’re right, on my 10th birthday, I got into trouble. My mom cancelled my birthday party and took my presents away…I’ve never forgotten it.
I don’t think I would give her nothing. But perhaps a good talk about this would help? Like the other commenters said, give her the same as always but maybe sitting her down and saying ‘we’re giving you the same as always because we love you but you’ve been awful lately’ type thing would help? I’m not sure, I don’t have kids so I have no idea what this must be like for you!
She really does need to be talked to; keeping the presents the same seems to be the right thing to do. Hopefully it’ll get better.
I think that I would scale back the gifts. But still, it could send the message that you should be good behaved if you want to get stuff. No? I don’t know. Maybe have a talk with her – tell her that she’s not a little girl anymore and she’s growing up. I have a colleague who allows her daughter to use the internet for ten minutes (yes, 10) a day. And when she gives trouble, her internet time gets revoked. But sometimes she still gives trouble even though she knows that there are consequences.
That’s how my daughter is. Even if she knows the consequences, she doesn’t care and will be awful anyway. It’s really a tricky situation with Christmas presents, you don’t want to send the wrong message.