A little less than a month ago, we moved back home to save a lot of money before buying our first house. I thought it would be interesting to have my mom (Nanny) write a guest post about what it’s like having your kids move back home, because how often do you get the parent’s true perspective?

We’re all so different and have our own ways of doing things, just as we all have different values and priorities in life. So just because we think this has been the longest month or our lives, doesn’t mean that it hasn’t felt just as long for her.

I love my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter so much, but here’s what it’s really like having them move back home temporarily.

There’s laundry, it’s just not the same. It’s not like I can just go in and do my laundry anymore, there’s 3 other baskets waiting in line. Being the mother that I am, I feel compelled to fold.

When my 9 year old granddaughter looks up to me and says, “Nanny can we throw my laundry in?” How could you ever say “no” to those beautiful blue eyes looking up at you with a smile on her face?

Then there is more vacuuming, cleaning and having to share the kitchen. Being an extremely picky housekeeper, it is so difficult to not have things perfect like normal. There could be a few dust particles on the counter and I’m trying (on the 3rd week) to actually look at it, turn, walk away and say “it’s okay.”

Then, at the end of my busy day, when I think I can curl up in my blanket on the 2nd floor at 9:30 pm…I see my dear, sweet son-in-law walking down to the 1st floor. I’m thinking, ‘please, please, please—I hope he isn’t going to play pool‘ All of the sudden…I hear the pool balls break.

So I continue to try to watch my movie, cringing every time the pool balls hit and I’m thinking to myself, should I go down there and say, “please don’t play pool…I’m tired” or not. But I know my son-in-law is happy playing pool and I don’t want him to not like me anymore. He says I’m his favorite mother-in-law and I think he loves me.

We have had a lot of laughs and fun; one of the pluses of having your children stay with you is getting more hugs and ‘I love yous.’ I really feel that it’s important to have good memories for all of us.

Things that Jen does that drive me nuts:

1. She relaxes coming home because she knows that Mom will take care of everything.
2. Does my daughter even cook?
3. Does my daughter even clean?
4. Does my daughter even wake up before 9am?
5. Does my daughter even know how to empty the dishwasher? She said that she would prefer not to empty the dishes before she moved in, seriously she did.
6. When I asked her to help me weed outside, she said that she doesn’t do “outside work” and instead offered to pay somebody to do it for me. She doesn’t work “outside”? Hmmmm. (see #3)
7. When I’m complaining about the house getting dirty, she says to me, “Mommy, just make me a list and I’ll take care of it all.” Then I feel guilty for complaining and do it myself.
8. The only time I see her is when she walks their dog, goes out to smoke or comes down to eat. So that means I get to play babysitter all the time (I love it though)
9. She always asks me before she uses or borrows stuff, even a soda. It drives me nuts because I want them to feel comfortable here.
10. They buy their own food, water, toilet paper…everything. They don’t want to put me out at all, even if I want to share.
11. I wish she would just stay downstairs long enough to hang out.
12. I finally found out what Jen does to get out of just about everything, all she has to do is look at me and say, “Mommy” and she’s already won.

Things that Kid does that drive me nuts:

1. All I hear from my smart, little granddaughter all day is, “No offense Nanny, but….”
2. There’s no escaping. Just when I think I’m leaving the house and getting away from it all, my granddaughter looks to me and says, “Nanny can I go? I really need to get out of the house.”
3. She is always there.
4. No more watching grown-up movies ever! It’s all SpongeBob, all the time.
5. She corrects me all day long, my grammar, my manners and my driving. She tells me to stop looking at myself in the rear-view mirror and to watch the road.

Things that Honey does that drive me nuts:

1. He hides; 10,000 square feet and he’s nowhere to be found.
2. He’s a fabulous cook, but never makes enough for everybody.
3. He comes home with black hands and all I’m thinking is, ‘Oh crap! Is he touching the door knobs? Should I say anything or not?‘
4. He’s always tired, which makes him unapproachable to ask him for help with things.

 

I am so excited for them to be buying their first house…I’m counting the days until they close. Aside from all the stuff, I’m so happy to be able to help them save money and prepare financially for home ownership—so that this never happens again. LOL; no…really!

There you have it, how it feels being on the other side. Does anybody else notice that my list was the longest? Seriously, it’s bigger than both Honey and Kid’s lists put together. Haha, I guess I’m not easy to live with. 😉 But she is used to living alone most of the time, so any invasion is a huge deal no matter what.

Creepily, my mom wants me to do a post about our side of living with her now, but that’s like opening Pandora’s Box. Everybody is telling her that it’s only fair because she did her venting, but who’s going to pay for us to stay in a hotel after she reads it? I’m just not so sure it’s a good idea…though it would clear up a lot of the things she mentioned above.

PS- Yes, I know that I take really crappy pictures. Aren’t you glad this isn’t one of those photography blogs?

 

What kind of issues have you dealt with moving back home or having your kids move back home?

Does anybody else think it would be a bad idea to do a post about our side?